February 17, 2006, 8:38 am

Hi guys,

I didn't want to write till I have all the details on the way forward.

Monday this week the doctor put two stitches in the opening I had. He still was not happy with the idea of doing a mastectomy but said he thinks it may be the only way forward. However, he said before rushing into it, he would first consult with some colleagues in the states then let me know next time I saw him. He'd also consult with two oncologists here, my original one plus another, and also the pathologist, then we make the final decision.

He phoned me on Tuesday and said THERE ARE OPTIONS. I will have to get very serious chemo and high dozes of radiation which HAS to be done in SA, but no more surgery. He said he was planning a conference with me and the other two doctors where we could discuss further.

Yesterday, I went for him to check my wound and he is happy with it. For the first time in like two or three months I don't have a dressing on me. It feels WONDERFUL.

The conference was called this afternoon. I went with an open mind. I had peace about getting a mastectomy even after all this, not that I'd be happy, but I would cooperate and do as I am told. Well when I got to the meeting, they started talking and I basically listened. Some of the stuff they spoke was medical jargon but basically they said, there are 3 stages to treatment of the kind of cancer I have: chemo, radio and surgery. I've had two of the three and the prognosis so far is good. What needs to be done is some more intense chemo and then I have to go to SA for radiotherapy. I must get high dozes of radiation which if done with the machines here will burn me so we need machines that can cope (I'm ok with that). In addition to that, I'll get some b.... something, didn't catch the word, where they stick radioactive needles around where the tumour was and zap me. Its a 3 minute zap but they keep the needles in overnight so they zap me again the following day.

The oncologist is checking with his contacts in SA for cost. He says he knows one guy whose speciality is this needle zap thing so he'll contact him and get the cost.

Before that, I'll get 4 chemo's. At least thats down from the 6 i'd been told I would get (but up from MY recommended 2). Immediately I stabilize after my last chemo, I get shipped to SA for the radiotheraphy. That will be either end of April or May.

So thats the story.

Actually the chemo would have been next week but I'm leaving for Uganda on Sunday - office meeting - back on Saturday. You can keep writing. I'll get my messages forwarded to me.

Wanted to let you know before I go. Thanks for praying. Don't stop.

Dee

February 10, 2006, 9:29 am

Hi everyone,

Today I'm sad. It looks like I might be headed for a mastectomy. Both my surgeon and I are SO depressed about it. Every time someone asks me how I am, tears come up in my eyes and I can't talk coz thats all I'm thinking about.

After I left his office this morning, I went to town and just wandered around coz I couldn't face going to work. I was thinking, the next chapter in my "book" will be titled The Death of My Breast. Thats whats going to happen, isn't it? They will kill it. I'm SOOOOOOO sad.

My surgeon is speaking with the pathologist again to confirm if its the only way to go then will consult widely with other oncologists to confirm the same.

As I walked I thought, this is like sin in our lives. Its the only way to deal with it. You cut it off and throw it away otherwise it will spread and kill the rest of your body. But like me and my breast, sometimes we feel so sad at the thought of doing without it that we want to just hang on yet its just a matter of time before the sickness starts to spread to vital organs. Even if painful, we MUST cut it off so that we can have a chance at a healthy spiritual life.

I'm still hoping and hoping that I won't need the surgery but I've prayed for grace to accept if it must be.

Besides that, the wound is doing VERY well and I'll be getting a stitch tomorrow to seal the little opening.

Will update you next week.

Dee