November 24, 2005, 6:41 am

Hi everyone,

I'm afraid I don't have very exciting news at the moment. My surgeon got the results back but they are confusing. He was told that the margins on the tumour are good except for one corner. But the pathologist who did the biopsy cannot pin-point which corner - he didn't see the markers put on the sample. So my doc went there yesterday to "raise hell" as he put it and showed them the huge markers he had put. Apparently they are overwhelmed with too many other cases. Anyway, he's asked them to redo the tests.

THEN it turns out the three nodes he removed are all diseased so he needs to go back and take out at least 10 to be sure he's got them all. The risk with this is the possibility of developing emphidema(sp?), i.e., swelling of the arm. He says we can begin early management and hope it doesn't happen.

I'm definitely not happy about going back to surgery. I was so looking forward to getting on with the rest of the treatment -- well not literally but its a means to an end and the sooner we proceed, the sooner it will all be over.

Also they still haven't done tests for the receptors. He is generally not happy with them and says if they don't produce satisfactory results in the next few days, he will retrieve the sample and take it to another lab.

My next appointment is Thursday next week but if he gets anything before then, he'll let me know.

Another matter we discussed is the radiotherapy equipment available in Kenya. Manu, it seems the doc you spoke to in SA was right. Its not a good idea to get it done here. Options are India and SA. Of course I prefer SA coz the Mbevi's and the Owino's are there. Let's pray about this.

My requests: Pray against incompetency on the part of the pathologists. Thank God for a good surgeon. I like his persistence in trying to get a complete and clear picture. He was also very encouraging and reminded me to look at all the many blessings I receive from the Lord on a DAILY basis as opposed to the few bad things that come my way. We tend to focus on the few bad things that happen and make a big deal of it. Life would be so different if we focus on the good and make a huge deal of it, wouldn't it.

Pray that I will get good advice and make the right decision on radiotherapy treatment (actually I feel like the decision has been made). Going out of the country of course will mean more expenses but I'm reminded that this illness was no surprise to God and He knows my financial situation and I believe has already decided how these bills will be paid.

Biggest request, that I may continue to focus on God and that the joy of the Lord will continue to be my strength. He has been so wonderful so far and I KNOW will continue to be. I have no doubt about that.

After I heard all this I just wanted to crawl onto God's lap for a big cuddle. I do know thats the safest place to be, safe even from bad news so that's where I'll be spending the rest of the evening.

Later,
Dee